Monthly Archives: September 2012

Where am I Now?

It’s been a month and a half since my last post, and EVERYTHING is still up in the Air. Autumn has arrived, and has brought with it, an air of uncertainty. Everything is changing, morphing, taking a different form. Things that have been long hidden are bubbling to the surface of my life. I’m learning a lot. A lot about my path, the people around me, but most importantly, a lot about myself. SO many mixed vibes. It’s extremely hard to remain Ground and Centered, but, each day brings new enlightenment. I’m finally understanding, that nothing is permanent, everything changes, and, instead of fighting the forces of change, I should try my best to work with them. 🙂

NOW, on the note of my spirituality. When my Pagan friends left for college, I  was assuming that the physical being of the”Circle of Towering Trees” would be no more. The circle took on more of a metaphor for the things I was aiming to be, as it seemed that nearly half of the circle were not as persistent and focused as the other half. BUT, it seems as if the Circle is slowly making it’s way back, as my friend Rachel will actually be back home for a lot of Sabbats. This scares me. Let me explain.

At first, the circle was great. Everyone was focused and committed to making every ritual count. We had a ton of great rituals. But, things change, events in people’s lives’ cause a lot of pain. This can REALLY change a person. Which can change the outcome of the group coming together. Some of the members seemed to become more negative, not wanting to contribute, and our rituals seemed to fall apart. I wasn’t getting anything out of them. They were becoming more of us reading things that some of the circle didn’t understand, rather than the former amazing rituals. It became unsacred. It became Negative. And I started to regret considering myself part of the circle.

In MY head, I saw the leaving of my friends to University as a chance to work on my own path. To get to know myself, and maybe even include the newest member of our circle, Shelby, in my rituals. No more negativity. No more misunderstandings. No more judgement. It seemed perfect.

Now I’m learning that my friends are coming back for a ton of sabbats. Especially the more important ones. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE them. I LOVED the rituals we used to do in the beginning. BUT, I’m scared. I don’t want things to go wrong again. I don’t want to lose out on more ideas. I have a lot of thinking to do about everything. More than any other time, I need the Guidance of the Goddess and God right now. I know they are with me, and they will enhance my intuition so I will know what decision needs to be made. I promised giving the rituals a chance again, and I intend not to go back on my promise. But, if something goes extremely negatively again, I think I’m out.

So much to ponder. I hope everyone has an amazing Samhain, which is in 31 DAYS! YAY! Take advantage of the amazing Autumnal energy, and enhance your Spirituality in anyway you can! Hugs, Love, and Blessings! ❤Fall Pentacle.jpg

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