Monthly Archives: May 2014

Finding My Restart

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In my last post, I addressed the fact that I probably wouldn’t be posting much until after this school year was over, but due to quite a bit of reflection over the past few days I’ve felt the need to concise my thoughts within a blog post.

As I previously noted, this year has been an almost absolute spiritual drought. When you begin to lose yourself, its hard to venerate with a spirituality that’s heavily based on finding yourself. The belief has and always will be there, but the actual practice has been almost nonexistant and when not its been dry. I spent a good portion of discovering what I believe in with the near constant reassurance of a group of pagan friends. Since our group disbanded its been hard to work through a lot of my spiritual turmoil. Its not a good excuse at all, but, having the support of spiritual people makes working through problems a lot easier.

In almost every attempt at “picking back up where I left off” I’ve failed miserably. A few years ago I was at what I would consider the high peak of my practice. I was so sure of myself and my craft. It was lovely. Feeling like you have a pretty solid direction was always the best feeling, but for a while I haven’t really felt that. Over the past week I’ve come to terms with a lot. Basically, I realized that trying to continue from where I left off a while ago wasn’t the best option. I never had an extremely stable solitary practice, so trying to build up on a weak foundation would be meaningless.

In conclusion, I’ve decided to essentially “restart” my path. I need to go back, visit the roots of where I started to learn, and work through the rocky parts in order to define what it is I really practice. I’m determined to work through all of the issues I had/have even if it takes immense hardwork and reflection. I cannot live without my practice. The Craft has helped me through so much, and has ultimately brought me to a stronger connection with what it is that I believe. The connection itself has not faded all the way yet, but if I continued to live the way I was who knows what would have happened. I’m happy I’ve come to terms with a bit of it, or at least have developed plans on how too.

I’m ready to utilize my summer vacation away from school and negative people to revamp my path and rediscover myself and my spirituality. Just like so many others, I need this.

I plan to update you all on what I do, and will continue to use this to better organize my thoughts on everything that will be occurring in the upcoming months. I hope to consistently bring good news, and be completely honest when it isn’t so good.

As always,

Merry Meet, Merry Part,

and Merry Meet Again!

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Update 5/16/2014

Blessings!

I haven’t made my presence here known in quite awhile, but that’s fairly usual of me. 

If you’ve followed my blog for a while you know that I fall into the habit of not updating as much as I probably should. I find myself seeking comfort in social media where I can quickly type out short messages such as Twitter. I can’t make up any excuses. Its laziness but alas, I am here. 

Wow. This school year has been quite a mix up. As usual, the constant pressure of school and trying to maintain a social life has put a damper on my spiritual side. I find that during academic years, especially in the cold months of winter where I find it harder to venerate with Earth’s energy, I sort of lose myself spiritually. Not completely of course, the craft will always play an immense role of my life, but the lost track of high days and times where I utilize magick to live for myself get unintentionally put on a back burner.

Academically, this has been the hardest school year of my life. My classes have been ridiculously hard to keep up with, and with the integration of multiple state tests per year and the taking of the ACT college ranking test, its been a struggle. Thankfully, school gets let out fairly soon and I’ll have time to finally sort out whats been slowly pulling me away from my spiritual self for a while.

Summer is always a spiritual time for me, and with a bit of planning and luck, this summer should be the best one yet. I hope to visit Brenna now that I have a car, and hopefully see all of my spiritual friends as they always inspire me a bit more than people from school. This season will also be a time of figuring myself out. Next year is my last year of high school and after that I officially start my life as an adult and college student. In time, I have plans of cutting off quite a few negative influences before next school year and surrounding myself with old friends (Brenna, Morgan, Taylor, Shelby, ect.) and hopefully gaining a new crowd of positive people at school if possible.

I can’t promise much posting for a few more weeks. Exams will be here soon and all my attention will be focused on that. But once summer starts, I have plans of updating my blog as much as possible.

Until then,

Merry Meet, Merry Part,

And Merry Meet Again!

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